Overcoming Disordered Eating Habits: Practical Steps for Change
Your relationship with food does not start with changing the food. Just like in couple’s therapy, the main thing one wishes to do is to change the other person. Although a seemingly weird or unrelated analogy at first sight, it proves very similar. The donut can’t talk, nor does it care if you are happy. However, you can’t be happy with it unless you take a closer look at yourself. What does this mean? If you wish to be happy in your relationship with food, you must first aim to be happy within yourself. The first relationship that ever started. Understanding the true reason for your disordered eating habits does not happen overnight. It is a journey filled with highs and lows. This journey requires much patience with yourself.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way, we will move on to more practical items of focus. You should focus on these things if you were to eventually feel free around food. Free to eat whatever whenever without judgement or fear.
Step 1: Kick the shame
Easier said than done, this first step comes from a process that can’t be rushed. It starts with acknowledging the fact that you impose shame on yourself after you assume you have ate something “bad”. Analyzing your thoughts is KEY in this first step! Although it feels uncomfortable, you have to sit in this discomfort. You need to listen to your head. As crazy or obvious as it sounds, it is important to do so. Listen to what you think or say to yourself. Only then will you start the journey of ultimately kicking the shame.
Once you have analyzed your thoughts, it is important to not judge them. The point here is to not judge yourself but accept and acknowledge your reality. Accept your thought patterns. Accept your actions. You need to accept them before you start to change them. If you do not, you will inevitably revert to patterns of self-destruction. This process stops the binge-restrict cycle. You restrict after feeling shame post-binge. Then, you binge once again to self-soothe from feelings of shame or guilt. Thus, disrupting this cycle is vital by not feeling the need to self-soothe in the first place.
Step 2: Do not overly restrict foods you enjoy
The more you say to yourself that you will cut out an entire food group for an extended period of time, the more likely that goal is to fail. It is often difficult to cut out an entire food group. Enjoy the food when you first crave it. Do this at least until the shame or overthinking around food settles down a bit. Over time, your relationship with food will improve. Thinking in the long run is going to be what boosts your success. It won’t sound attractive or motivating at the time. However, you must change your current patterns and mindset around food. This change is vital if you wish for your relationship to be different.
Step 3: Take care of yourself in other ways
The want to hyper control your food comes from a good place. You may genuinely want to look “healthier”, feel happier, or achieve a certain goal. The problem is when it becomes obsessive and unhealthy in the long run. For this reason, try taking care of yourself in other ways that will eventually translate to healthier eating patterns. This works because it changes the root of your actions. Your actions will now come from a place of self-acceptance and love rather than hatred or shame. This shift will give you a small boost in the short run. However, it is detrimental to both your physical and mental health.
Doing small things like going on a walk or working out in ways you actually enjoy. You can also journal, read, and drink more water. These are amongst other small practices that improve your mental and physical health over appearance. Eventually, these practices will help you enter the topic of eating and food from a more nurturing perspective.
Step 4: Keep more filling foods in stock
Another reason you are stuck in this binging-restricting cycle is because you are genuinely hungry. Negating yourself food only leads to a negative outlook on both the self and food. Thus, allowing yourself more food will help you as counterproductive as it sounds! Foods like nuts, avocados, meats, fish, and other fats and proteins provide the most help in feeling full. They also play a key role in regulating hunger hormones. Eating more fats and proteins can boost your energy levels. You will then feel less dependent on processed foods.
As I said, food is your partner and is here to help nourish you, not your enemy. Taking a deeper dive into self acceptance will boost you into the proper healthy relationship you deserve with food. Remember, the most important thing you can start with today is eliminating shameful thoughts when you start feeling them. It is normal to feel the way you do. This feeling is part of the process. However, it will not yield any good fruit. Instead, practice giving yourself the proper patience and grace to grow from hardships that you are going through.
